Audi advertises vampire slayer vehicle of choice for Super Bowl XLVI

There are many reasons vampires drive Volvos and Corvettes. Until recently, the headlights weren’t one of them. Now, with Audi’s signature LED headlamp technology reaching 5,500 Kelvin (as close to the Sun as any headlight gets), well, the 2013 S7 being promoted to slayers and humans during Super Bowl XLVI could be a real game changer.

If you’ve been awake and watching television after midnight this week, you’ve already seen this Super Bowl ad for Audi’s vampire slayer vehicle, the 2013 S7. Audi has been airing it on select cable networks between midnight and 3 a.m. For those not keeping vampire hours, or having better things to do than watch TV if they are conscious, here it is:

Audi created an ad with some great cinematography. It almost feels like a 60 second movie or maybe a snippet taken from a feature film…right up to the point where the headlights strike the party-goers. The ad begs two basic questions however:

1. Vampires have superior night vision so why would we need to drive a car with such powerful headlamps?
2. Won’t these new S7 Audi’s be a hazard on the road? Imagine some vampire just driving along and being struck by these beams and bursting into flames. Or, should the vampire be part of that minority that sparkles but doesn’t combust in sunlight, imagine the poor non-vampire suddenly faced with that light show on a dark road. Did Audi even consider how many accidents are they going to cause?

Of course, there are groups, like the Fellowship of the Sun, who will hail these lamps as a wonderful invention. Vampire slayers will no doubt be thrilled to add the 2013 Audi S7 to their arsenal of weapons as well.

We should have known this was coming. After Whistler invented that portable UV lantern for Blade, it was only a matter of time before someone else duplicated the technology and made it available to the public. Audi’s LED headlight technology isn’t that much of stretch. Still, you have to wonder about the level of hatred that went into creating this vampire slayer vehicle. It will be interesting to see what effect the loss of the vampire market will have on Audi…and whether there are enough slayers and humanists two make up the difference.